What Makes Love Last by John Gottman – Book Review

by Melita Rahmalia
It is quite simply, the best book I have ever read on relationships. This is the first book of John Gottman that I’ve read and it turned me into a rabid fan. Unfortunately, no other books of his that I’ve read after, felt as good as this one. The fact that I keep reading and reading his work, is a testament to how good this first book is, that I just felt like I was addicted to his work.
It’s chock-full of insights, from the first chapter to the last chapter. The title talks about how to make love lasts, how to build trust and avoid betrayal, but I felt like I have just finished a masterclass on the theory of relationships. I guess, that makes up really a huge chunk of relationships, that trust thing. It’s where it starts and also where it could end, if you are not careful. I had like almost zero experience with men when I read this book, and it’s like my eyes were newly opened afterwards. So many things I couldn’t have known otherwise that is explained with such clarity and in compelling details by Gottman. I am so glad I picked this book up. That sense of trust, of security, of reassurance that was so profoundly needed by everyone in a relationship, that was what conveyed in the terms “sakinah, mawaddah, warahmah” the three foundations of Islamic marriage principles, and he basically just explained how to build and maintain those three things in our romantic relationships. This is a book that I will always keep as a reference, to be read again at different points in life, and certainly when I am about to get married, sometimes in the future!

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